Why You Keep Settling For Unfulfilling Relationships
“acknowledging that I deserve love from a good person and not thinking that who I am was or who I still am sometimes makes me an invalid person.”
I asked what aspect of their Shadow Self they are working on. This was one reply. I just wanted to share my response in hopes of helping someone else.
I asked what part of their Shadow Self they are working on. This was one reply. I just wanted to share my response in hopes of helping someone else.
Yes it can be easy to fall in the habit of “self-sabotage” by falling for people that we inherently know can’t love us in the capacity we need. If we go for someone that we know is emotionally unavailable or has other obligations, it gives us a sense of control because we can be the ones to walk away.
It’s like a safety net we create for ourselves.
We just have to learn how to live past our old ways of being/experiences/traumas and stop living in them. They are a part of us but they are not our present.
It’s really important to pay attention to the storyline we keep repeating. Everyone has things they aren’t proud of. But how long do we keep repeating the same thing over and over (I’m not talking about you specifically just as a way of speaking). How long do we allow that to cripple our highest potential?
I honestly don’t think we ever really forget or ever get completely numb to our traumatic experiences. They are a part of us and without them we wouldn’t have the knowledge or strength we do today.
We have to stop romancing our pain, understand how it truly came to be and why we allowed it in the first place. We have to learn how to control them instead of allowing them to control you. It’s not easy. But it all starts with mindset.
“The Man who says he can, and the man who says he can not.. Are both correct” ― Confucius
You deserve love from another. You deserve to be honored. But you deserve self love and self honor even more.
You have to learn to love yourself so you can learn how you want to be loved. When you know this you can then express how you want to be loved. You can’t express how you want to be loved if you don’t know. And you’ll never truly know if you never discover it.
Even if the perfect partner came along would you be able to express to them your wants/needs/desires in a healthy manner? And would you be able to say that you are in a place of emotional intelligence to do the same in return?
Yes you can learn and grow but you can’t fully explore yourself immersed within someone else.
Even the most kind, loving and understanding partner can’t be there for you all of the time. Know that the void you’re trying to escape won’t disappear because you have a partner.
But if you go into that void and discover what’s inside, I can almost guarantee your partner is in there waiting for your evolved self to show up.
I know that it’s not easy. I know that I can get lonely sometimes. But know that you are NEVER alone on this journey. I’ve got your back.
Love you. -Snowi : )
Do you need help discovering the obstacles along your self-discovery journey that are secretly holding you back?
Many of us long for positive change in our lives. But, often times we cling to old thought patterns and ways of being. But in order for long-lasting change to occur, we must acknowledge the traits that no longer serve us before creating an action you can follow consistently. Get the help of a coach to keep you feeling accountable and supported.
Schedule a Self-Discovery Session today to see how a coach can help you create a roadmap and stay on track.
Snowi Lee, Founder of Poetic Touch Therapy and The Haven Sisterhood & Self-Published Author